I know I’m not alone in this self-isolation-going-a-bit-mental-staying-at-home-stressing-because-i-can’t-control-whats-happening-to-the-world-right-now state… which should be comforting, but honestly life has been completely flipped upside down. I mentioned in an earlier post that I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and few spatterings of other things that bleed into it. But, I wanted to talk a little more about it, because it is a HUGE part of my life and something that has affected it beyond recognition.
First things first… I’m not a doctor. This is just my view, my experiences, and my life, if you are really struggling, please tell someone who can help you!
I’ve always been anxious, always be a ‘little sensitive’. It’s sort of followed me round since I was about four years old. It would pop it’s head up every now and again, but never so much that I couldn’t handle it. Then, it started showing up more. It wanted more and more of my attention. I tried ignoring it, but like a child who wants something so badly it will do just about anything to get it, my anxiety held it’s breath until it got what it wanted. My undivided attention and control. It got that and a lot more over the years. Pulling me through dark patches and only letting me up for air every so often.
I’m not going to sugar coat things, it was awful at times. And some days when it held on to me so tightly I could feel it’s hands clutched around my lungs ready to pop them, I didn’t think I would ever get to a point when I was the one calling the shots in my life.
However, I’m here and I’m writing this. Today it shows up but rather than ripping through everything it can get its hands on, it’s just a little niggle here and there. Sometimes it’s bigger and I have to give it the attention it needs, but it doesn’t destroy me anymore and I am so outrageously proud of myself that I can say that!
Mental Health is as real as any physical injury a person can have and it can be just as fatal sometimes. So, kindness and love is essential ❤ I know this post wasn’t very long or in depth, but I wanted to write something that would just let you know that if you are struggling, you are 100% not alone.